Please buffer this video of the backsound first until end. Well of course you can buffer it in 240px for faster (if there’s fucking ads you can skip that). If it done, then you can play it and start to reading :)

*I used backsound for more dramatic moment, and you can play it over and over again when it ends. lol

0910683047
Teknik Informatika Universitas Brawijaya


Dear a girl who made me fucked up about love. *I guess
So this is for you. Yes you!!

Well, I had an attack of love in 3 days a few weeks ago. It begin when the night you came to my house to borrow my sister’s novels or something. I don’t know why I feel so happy when you came and we had a great conversations in that time. Okay, so I wanna justify about our friendship, in my version. #jengjeng

You and I maybe already know when we were in end of 3 grades in high school where we know with chat application on dinosaur smartphone it’s called “MXIT” (haha, so classic) and then we begin a conversation and became a friend. I don’t remember exactly how early we meet, which is clearly when the first time we went on movies I already interest to you.
Well, Blink 182 said it was a “First Date”.

I know as long we’re friends we hang out often (when you’re single of course), but I don’t know why I was too scared to get closer to you, till then you’ve got dated and single in several times and all my reaction just nothing. In the end now you have a boyfriend where it’s going about 1 year. Well actually I know how many chances I have at that times.
*damn what a moron!
*this is how I feel when everytime I find out you are in a relationship

image


Okay, I wanna tell you about me a bit.
I’m a person who difficult to fallin’ in love (of course with a girl), but when I do, the moon, the stars and universe it’s like falling right in front of me. My body feels like exploded and it’s going for so long. There’s more indication of me like something wrong with my stomach, it’s like queasy (going to puke) and my heart is beating over 9000 thousands per second. Well I know that is so drama queen, but I’m not kidding!!

In the other side of me, my friends said.
I’m a friendly guy, humble, funny, shy, sick, idiot, stupid like shit, weird as fuck, freak as hell and I’m not fucking gay!!! Screw people who said I’m gay!!! Well I just wonder why no one says that I’m hot, cute, handsome, charming, smart or whatever except my parent, hahaha fuck you people. *kidding hehe. *I mean really fuck you.

Did you know how God made me?

image

*you see that, I was hot. lol


Well maybe with my personalities retarded as fuck, it causing me afraid to get closer to woman and that’s why it’s so hard for me to tell you about my feeling it was.

image

*okay stop it, I can hear you laugh


Alrighty then, back when you came to my house.
After you going home, we’re still continued our conversation on Whatsapp and midnight call. You know what? At that time my heart is beating over 9000 thousands per second with a little queasy on my stomach. Actually I’m not sure about my feeling until Mocca say “Oh No, I Think I’m In Love With You” and Roxette made me sure, they say “It Must Have Been Love”.
Alright, from all those words I’m sure that I’m in love, haha finally, yeahhhh!! But you know what sucks??
Yes, I’m in love with the girl who has a boyfriend where it’s going about 1 year. Damn!!

image


When we’re on chat you said that you ever have a feeling to me, but I didn’t know that and you said my reaction just like give a fuck, haha my bad. But I don’t know why I still have the same feeling to you that I should have to told you long time ago. Yeah you’re right, I’ve kept this feeling maybe it’s been about 4 years.

image

Wait, I’m not pussy!! I just feel confused when everytime I see your face, hahaha. Anyway I’m pretty sure that you still have the same feeling to me. But… #jengjeng

image

*what a crap

When I tweeted about that picture on my twitter, so my friend chat me immediately on Line and I get yelled.

image

image

Of course all it’s my fault and I’m sorry.
You know John Mayer ever said, “Friends, Lovers or Nothing”??
Well for this time I hope we can be friends :) *again

Oh yeah, you pissed me off when we’re on chat and you asked me to be yours second. So I read it again and over again, it’s like…

image

image

image

On the second day, we are contact often on the phone and chat. It feel so strange when I didn’t heard anything about you, my life it’s like tasteless. Actually I know that you are not in the single position right now, but I don’t know why I still always looking for you. Anyway you said that we’re friends right?? So I think it’s okay if I act like that.
*I guess

image

On the third day I being so crazy, I became more and more addicted to you. In every fucking single time I had to talk with you and your respon is nice to me. But the moment I realized that I should not to be like this, ‘cause what I did it it’s like kind of disturb people’s relationships. That’s why I don’t want you to looking for me anymore, so I can stay away from you. But you won’t, you said “keep us like this” and that’s makes me so fucking confused. Even we had a complicated at that time, I tried to be firm and I decided to stay away. Yeah even though I was hoping you to said “Don’t Let Me Go” like The Fray say.

Well after that time and a few days go by, I feel so fucked up, my days feels like a shit. It’s was like, no colors in my life and everything’s all changes black. It’s same when The Black Dahlia Murder said ”Paint It Black”.

image

But hey, before all of this nonsense I was happy, truly happy. I’m serious, my life is filled of songs, sports, constant adventure, humor, study (ain’t nobody got tme for that), playing PES 2013 with jackass, doing something stupid things with jerks, watched porns all days, masturbating, smoke weed, get drunk, get high, hey wait.. what??? Come on, I’m not that bad. I’m just a nice guy, I never did bad things like that.

image

Alright, maybe I’m a little not “a nice guy”.
*so two pair of corona beers please


Well so, is this life?? Life is unfair?? So I can’t get what I want??
NO!!! Life is fair!!
Everyone had a chance for no exception, the problem is taken or not. Life is unfair just for people who can’t be consequence with their decisions.

Am I wrong if I still hoping a chance for a thousands times? Because in my opinion the second chance, third, fourth, fifth and bla bla bla will be come depend on sequence. If the number of sequences got bigger, of course the chance will be a little to get. If I get a chance on the next time, She & Him said “Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want This Time”.

When you ask to me about how’s my feeling it’s hurt or something and I said I’m okay that was a big lie. Well actually my body’s and my soul’s say that “I’m Not Okay”, just like My Chemical Romance said.

Maybe I wanna tell about some fact to you.
(*) You know what, I need a lot of braveness in every single times to ask girl out.

image

(*) Did you know, when every single time I see the girl I like, I feel so fucking nervous. To see right in her eyes I feel dying!! That’s so I tried so hard to act cool in front of you.
(*) And you ask to me about our photos when the time we’re on first date (I guess). Hellyeah I still have them. I put them on my timeline schedule in my bedroom, so I can see they’re smiling everyday.

image

*yeah, dumb pose. lol


I’m not ask you to love me,
and I’m not ask you to choose me,
I just wanna you to feel me.
Yeah I know he loves you that much right?
Treat him so well then :)

Anyway, can you let my heart in? Just let it there, I promise that it wouldn’t do anything and you don’t need to take care of it. I’m sure that Mr.Big already told you to “Just Take My Heart When You Go”.

You know when I was fucked up, I liked to imagine if we’re on date right now maybe someday we’ll get married, have a life, have a family, have many childs. Hahaha
*well, you can punch me in the face now!! I was high

Hey, I also like passed in front your house when I gowes in the morning.

image

*if you don’t believe to me, you can check out white tint on the paving stone in front of your house, just like white tint on the photo in the bottom right


Sometimes I just thought why I didn’t tell you about my feeling in the past!! Damn!! I am so fucking regret it right now. Well at that time I should’ve followed the advice of Jet to say, ”Are You Gonna Be My Girl?”. *damn

Yeah I was so angry when I always remembered that!! Well, I hate my self!! But suddenly Oasis try to calm me down so hard, they told me to “Don’t Look Back in Anger”.

Lately I always feel afraid. In every day, every night and in every single time I just afraid. You know what I’m afraid for??
I’m afraid “I Can’t Stop Loving You”. #tsaah
(yeah, it’s from Van Hallen)

I’ve got fucking stuck dude and it’s sucks!!!

I’ve tried many times to move on, but The Script said “How can I move on when I still in love with you?”.
I’m sorry if I’m too drama queen again, but The Beatles told me that you should to know “In my life I love you more”.

Well my best friend “the bottle brothers” tried to wake me up, so…

Femowski : Come on!! Just get over it bitch!!! She has a boyfriend already. Why the fuck are you still expecting from her??

Me : I have no any idea dude, I’m just fucked up. But how if I will waiting for her??

Femowski :

image

Me : *suddenly I’m so fucking speechless

And this is the ridiculous one

Femowski :

image

*hahaha, he is so nuts man and badass of course


HELLOOO…
Just look at me now!!
I’m in love with a girl who has a boyfriend and she loved him that much. I such like an idiot right?
Why, why, and why???

image

image


And I wonder to myself why life’s so hard???

image

*ohh boy


Hey wait, are you still dreamed of me??
I’m curious about what are you dreamed of??
I mean it ends wet or not?? Wait… :|
I mean are you still dreaming of me until right now?? Haha
Well, just don’t be tired when I came in your every single dreams honey :)

So maybe just this I can give it to you. I am so sorry that in early I should gave you flowers, teddy bear or something shit like everyone else gave to you. But I’m not kind of romantic person, I’m just a retarded guy remember??

If you don’t came to my house at that time,
If we hadn’t contact often,
If we don’t remember the past,
I will not be fucked up as trash like this.
David Foster and Boz Scaggs said “Love, Look What You’ve Done to Me”

Don’t ask why I did this stupid things, ‘cause people looks stupid when they’re in love right? Yeah I know I am stupid man, but I know what the love is :)

I wish I could back in the past, so I can tell how much I love you and ask you to be my girlfriend. And if at that time you reply my love, just this is all I want to say…

image


If you cry when reading this, call me!
But if you don’t… Who am I kidding??
You should to call me after this or I will call 911.
Wait, you’re still not cry don’t you??
Ok fuck it, I’ll call 911 for real!!
hahaha


Written with love and creativity to someone fucking special,
and the someone is you…
Rr. A D P
091122**13
Ilmu Komunikasi Universitas Brawijaya





*Hey dude, if you wonder how can I get your full name and your student number. Fuckyeah, this is it :)

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

*catch you

Actually I’m a bit disappointed to you. Because when I opened foreword sheet, you didn’t write down my name there.
How could you??
And you write down the name who seems like your crush name (who seems like my friend’s name too, but yeah who knows).
I mean… Really how could you??
Well, just forget it :)